It seems I may always be blind...

Imagine you are underground in a cave. Maybe you are on vacation on a tour of some caverns. Have you ever done anything like that? I have. The tour guide turns off his light and it's pitch black, you can't see your hand in front of your face. Even when the light is on you can see enough to get your feet one foot in front of the other.

This is the best way that I feel as though I can describe our lives since Don went to seminary. We sold our house and many other things to pursue this desire that God put on Don's heart. I thought that once seminary was over we would have an idea a path of where to go next. I am sure you know how it is to have a plan and then you realize that it's NOT about YOUR plan?

Well today God and I were talking and I was questioning how long will I feel blind? How long will I remain in one spot unmoving because there isn't light shining to show us where to step next. Sometimes it's scary being in a dark place, will my feet remain stable, will they slip, what's underneath me? Better yet, what's in front of me, of us? I was clearly reminded today that God has been the guide on this path for the last 5 years, always taken care of us! He clearly came through with Don accomplishing the Master's program and in his time he will show us what is next. It's tempting to try and seek our own will or push our will on God's. However, I heard him say to me today that I should expect to be blind the rest of my life. I might NOT always be blind, there may be times that he will reveal what's coming but it's up to Him to choose to do that and I can either worry and be anxious about it or I can choose to trust him and have peace. If I expect to blind, then I can rest in it and have peace about it. Does that make sense? It doesn't matter if I know what's coming because God is the one in control and I know that he will take care of us.

WINNER OF THE DISNEY ON ICE TICKETS!!

Congrats to Jess B for winning the Disney On Ice tickets. Please contact me with an email address. This was specified in the post. If I do not hear from you by Friday morning I will choose a different winner. I need to submit your information tomorrow. Please contact me right away!!

Mickey & Minnie's Magical Journey (DISNEY ON ICE) - GIVEAWAY

Have you heard of a "staycation"? In these economic times going away on a vacation seems to be a luxury. Many families are opting out to stay home, explore and experience the area they live in and spend quality time at home with their family.

This December would you like the feel of a Disney Vacation without the expense? Why not consider taking your children to experience Mickey & Minnie's Magical Journey, Disney On Ice. December 9-12th Disney on Ice will be coming to the MN Xcel Energy Center. Experience with your child their imagination coming to life. Join Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse on a journey into the magical worlds of Disney's The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Peter Pan and Lilo and Stitch. Discover Ariel and Sebastian's enchanting undersea kingdom; visit the Pride Lands with Simba and Nala; soar through starry skies with Peter Pan and his sassy fairy friend Tinker Bell; and say "aloha" to fun with Lilo and Stitch. You'll be captivated by the music, beauty and laughter in a journey so magical you'll never want to go home. You can purchase tickets through the Xcel Energy box office or through ticketmaster. Ticket prices: $65 (Front Row)/ VIP $42/$20/$15/$10. I also have coupons available for anyone who might be interested. You can include in your comment if you are interested in some coupons. This show starts Dec. 9th and goes through Dec. 12th.

Showtimes:

Thursday, Dec. 9th - 7pm

Friday, December 10th - 10am & 7pm

Saturday, December 11th - 11am, 3pm, & 7pm

Sunday, December 12 - 1pm & 5pm

I will be giving away 4 tickets to see Mickey and Minnie's Magical Journey. Leave a comment on my blog telling me who you would bring and why? Also include in your comment your email address so that I may contact you. You can have extra chances to win by posting this contest on your blog. Come back and leave a comment that you blogged and with the link to your post. Become a follower and facebook this contest. You could have 4 chances to win. The contest will go through Tuesday November 30th 8pm Central time. This contest is for anyone in MN or local states willing to travel into the Twin Cities for the show. If you are chosen as a winner if the tickets will be in anyone's name other then your own you MUST tell me immediately!! The tickets are reserved in the name of the winner and can not be picked up by anyone else unless otherwise stated. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation. This contest is sponsored by Feld Family Entertainment. Good Luck!!

Another Giveaway

Check out my friend Sassyfrazz! She is has a lot of great giveaways. Right now she is having a giveaway for a company called Innovative Kids. This would be great for anyone but I think homeschoolers would love it. She is giving away some of their books. Check it out here.

Monster Jam WINNER

Congratulations to JENI for winning the Monster Jam tickets. Thanks for signing up and I hope you have a great time!! :)

GIVEAWAY - 4 MONSTER JAM TICKETS (MN)

Monster Jam is coming to the HHH Metrodome again this next weekend! I am happy to host a giveaway for my readers! If you are in MN, Wisconsin, North or South Dakota, Iowa, or from somewhere else & are willing to drive.....you can enter to win 4 tickets for the show next weekend on November 13th!

This Contest starts TONIGHT and will end Monday evening at 8pm central time. (Nov. 8th) I will contact the winner via email and will announce the winner on my blog on Tuesday! Stay tuned. :)

Monster Jam returns on Saturday, November 13 with the show starting at 7:30 PM. The Pit Party takes place from 2:00 PM - 5:00 PM. Pit Passes are available for free at participating Subway locations from 10/4/10 through 11/13/10 while supply lasts. Tickets are on sale online at www.ticketmaster.com or by calling 651-989-5151. $5 Adult Discount Coupons are available at participating Advance Auto Parts locations from 10/25/10 through 11/12/10 while supplies last. Tickets will be on sale at the Metrodome Box Office outside Gate B starting Monday, November 8th. All tickets $2 more if purchased the day of the show. There is a $1 Handling Fee for tickets purchased at the Metrodome Box Office. The box office will be open from 10:00 AM - 6:00 PM. Additional information is available at www.monsterjamonline.com.

There are shows all over the United States! You can go see Monster Jam in your state. Go to www.ticketmaster.com to find out when they are coming in your area.

The tickets for Monster Jam were provided to me from FeldEntertainment for purposes for a giveaway for my readers. I was not paid for my review and the review is based on my own opinions.

Time is short on this contest, so enter to win! Leave a comment below. Please include your email address. One comment for each entry. You can get extra chances to win by helping me promote this contest! Here is what you can do to promote: blog about the contest and link back to this post, twitter, or share the link on facebook. If you do this come back and leave another comment stating where you shared the contest. You just have the weekend so get out there and spread the news!! :) Thanks and good luck.

ramblings

One intention for my blog was to write about my thoughts, what I am learning and how I am growing. I started to use my blog this way in the beginning but I think I just forgot. I think out loud. Processing takes place for me in conversation. :) Anyone who knows me knows this. I want to get back to one of the reasons that I started my blog which is to write my thoughts and feelings down. I just want to say that this is my place. I want to share my family, my thoughts and feelings. I understand that everyone has the right to their opinion and I will certainly be expressing mine, so please feel free to express yours. The only thing I ask is that you be respectful. Remember I think out loud so I may not have fully processed what I am writing and who knows maybe I will come back and express something after changing my mind. I won't be surprised if it happens. :) I love to write and somewhere along the way in life I have lost site of that a bit. Who knows what it is being the mother of two amazing boys, running a house, a business, a husband... (hehehe..) or just living life. I probably won't have anything real profound to say, it's mainly for me to document but who knows maybe something that I have to share will move or encourage you.

So I am going to share publicly something that everyone close to me knows. I am terrified of being home alone. I find myself embarrassed and ashamed to put that down for everyone to see. I have ideas of where it stems but nothing real concrete. The reason it feels embarrassing is because I am a Christian. I shouldn't be afraid of anything... :) right? Fear makes me sad. I have allowed it to steal so much from me. Logically I know that God is my protector, my fortress, my Savior!! I have such an amazing God, I know that I have nothing to fear. Yet somehow my brain has not communicated that to my feelings. :) Every year Don goes hunting. Unfortunately this fear has not just stolen joy from me, it has stolen joy from Don. The reason is because we almost always end up fighting every year about him going away. I can't really explain how gripping it is. However I know that he needs to get away and I am starting to understand more and more what it means to him. I love him and I want him to be happy and to be filled. This year he wanted an extra day. He left on a Thursday night and didn't come home until Sunday. This is like my worst nightmare. :) I know, right? I am incredibly blessed to have people around me who love me and support me. I went and spent a couple of days with my friend Melissa. Which was SO SO fun. She is so in love with Christ. She is one of those people who you can't help but feel rejuvenated when you are with her. Her love for God overflows to everyone around her. We had a great time. Even if I wasn't afraid of being alone spending that time with people is such a great way for me to pass the time when Don is gone. The kids get to have someone to play with, they are busy and distracted and I get to have some awesome girl time. Anyway, I could have stayed the whole weekend but decided to come home Saturday night. I finally decided that I needed to face this fear head on. I have conquered much in my life with the verse from 2 Cor. 10:5 that tells us to take our thoughts captive to Christ. Our minds are so powerful. I have spent much of my life thinking and not always being aware of what I was telling myself. I am pretty certain I started telling myself that week that I had nothing to be afraid of. God is my protector. He is my fortress in times of trouble. He will never leave me nor forsake me. In order to face this fear I had to make it work for me. I slept on the couch, with A LOT of lights on. However, the boys and I made it through our first night alone. This is a HUGE victory for me and one that many people probably would not ever understand. I do think that it can translate to other things. I believe that many of us have something that binds us, that keeps us from having as a fulfilling relationship with Christ as we can. Satan LOVES to lie to us. I am tired, tired of letting him win. God has started to teach me that by changing my thoughts it changes my actions. When I am able to be aware of the thoughts that creep into my head that fuel the fear, if I give them to Christ then God has the power not Satan. I believe that this is going to be a lifetime process for me but I KNOW that I can do it. If I need to stay home alone again I will be ok. That's huge. Whatever struggles you might be facing God wants to bring you healing and peace. Practice listening to your thoughts. Do you struggle with loving yourself, wanting something that isn't yours, over eating? Listen to the messages that are going through your head and start changing them today!! Take your thoughts captive to Christ and allow him to transform your mind. It will transform your life.

Did you know....

It's FUN TO BE ONE! This is what Weston's shirt

say in this picture which I feel perfectly matches his facial

expression!! I can't believe a year has gone by. Weston turned

a year old on September 19th. :) He is such a delight

Weston walks along furniture

but climbs on everything. :)

He has take a step or two here

or there but doesn't seem to interested

in walking yet.

He says momma, daddy, all done, and go go go. :)

He signs milk, more, and all done.

He is very interested in life and people. He is very smiley and happy. He loves his brother. They love to pick on each other, crawl over each other, and make each other laugh all the time.

We had a great time celebrating Weston's birthday and I will have to post some pictures soon of his party. :)

UPDATES

So I wrote about Don but it was never really conclusive. He saw an infectious disease specialist and it was determined that he had a virus called CMV. CMV is similar to mono. The tests that they did can be inconclusive and it took a lot of time, testing, and retesting to get a final answer. After months they determined it was CMV and he was getting better at that point. CMV is a virus that most of us get as children and don't even realize we have had it. You get it once in your life and you don't get it again. The thing with CMV is that if you don't get it when you are young it is worse the older you are when you get it. For kids it is as simple as a runny nose, fever, and maybe an ear infection and it goes away. For an adult it's long term fever, night sweats, exhaustion, and in Don's case it lasted months. He still isn't at 100% but he is probably at 85-90%. He has more energy then he has had in a long time but still gets worn out easily. It's crazy to me because he first got sick at the beginning of April. 4 months late and he still isn't completely well. However life is starting to feel normal again and that is a good thing. He is working almost full time and is enjoying his job. His next goal is to get licensed. We are still in limbo as we try to determine if he stays at the job he is at or if we see if God has another job for him. Right now we have no solid direction so we are still waiting. We don't really want to move until we know that we will be somewhere long term. So we will see.

I didn't blog about this but some of you may know that a couple of weeks ago my computer decided to die. Poor Don thought he broke it but it would have died no matter what. The logic board went out. It was scary because I didn't really know what was wrong, how much it was going to cost and if I lost my hard drive. My hard drive holds everything for my business including current photo sessions that I am working on and editing. It was a little stressful. A day or two after the computer died Don and I were processing how old my computer was because I was surprised that it would die, it didn't seem like we had it that long. So we realized that we haven't had the computer more then three years. I have a mac powerbook and we purchased an apple care plan for it. So we took the computer in, it was still under warranty and they fixed it for free. My hard drive is still intact and life is good. I am going to try to work on blogging a little more. So hang in there with me. I have pictures that I can post and just living life stuff to share.

Like sand through the hour glass, these are the days of my life! :)

I think I need to keep of a journal to document how I spend my time. I have two friends, one with five kids and one with four. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! They are amazing women and I love them dearly. They both blog. I can't even get one post up a month! I can't figure out how they do it. Lately I feel like life is flying by at lightning speed and I am standing still watching it, too exhausted most of the time to even think about trying to keep up. So much has been happening since the last time that I blogged. First of all my husband and I celebrated 8 years of marriage. My dad and his wife took Brody for a weekend and we had just Weston for a few days. Don's sister to Weston for an evening so we got to have a date. It was fun but that is also at the beginning of when Don was sick. We were on a date and yet too tired to really enjoy it. I will get back to the whole sick thing. Like I said around that time Don started to get sick. For 3 weeks he had a HIGH fever off and on. He also was having night sweats. Every night was sweating through his shirt, sometimes he would change his shirt twice a night. He has had a cough for a LONG time but his cough got significantly worse. We went to the minute clinic which was a mistake. If you ask me wait until you can go see your Dr. They can't do anything for you at the minute clinic. IMO!! So anyway finally a trip to urgent care one night. A LOT of tests later.. blood tests, TB, etc etc. We were told he MIGHT have lymphoma or luekemia! WHAT?? It was crazy. OR it could be a virus. That was just the beginning. We had to just go about our lives as we made arrangements to get Don seeing a primary care Dr. and get more tests. In the meantime Mother's Day happened. It was a good day. I was a little lonely. Don was VERY sick on Mother's Day. Literally didn't leave the house. Slept on the couch in a hooded sweatshirt, lots of blankets, the curtains were closed and the lights were off. I took Brody out for a little date in the morning to the park and coffee (for me.) We brought daddy homemade soup. Then in the afternoon I took the boys to the Y and daddy slept more. Then that night the boys and I went to his moms for dinner. Daddy slept more. After Mother's day we celebrated Don's birthday. He turned 36 this year. That seems crazy to me. I forget we are in our thirties. I feel like I am still in my twenties. I need to move from that dilusion. :) Haha. Don loves bow hunting, fishing, playing with his boys. Here are a couple of pictures of him. :) They make me smile. He can be a little silly as you can see.

May 18th was Brody's 3rd birthday. That just sort of takes my breath away. I can't believe he is 3.

He talks all the time. LITERALLY! He sings and talks himself to sleep. He just recently learned to peddle his bike. He is going to swim lessons at the Y and does a great job swimming. He puts his face in the water, blows bubbles and is starting to relax when the teacher does the back float with him. I did a little interview with him

when he turned 3. I have a birthday book and that is where the interview comes from. I asked him what he wants to be when he grows up and he told me a dinosaur!! I asked him what he thought of when I said love and he said Weston. (melts me to the core.) and what was his favorite color, orange. That was just a couple of the questions.
So back to Don. In April Don got sick. He got sick with exhaustion and lost his voice. He started to feel a little better but energy level never really came back. A couple of weeks later he spiked a fever. He was so so cold. I remember I tried to cover him with a blanket and he didn't know what I was doing, totally flipped out because he didn't want me to take the covers off. He was shivering. Little did we know that the fever that spiked that night would last three weeks. That was just the tip of the ice berg. Included with the fever was night sweats. He would sweat through one or two shirts a night. After a few run around Dr. appts. we finally went to urgent care. They did quite a bit of testing and got him assigned to a primary Dr. It's kind of a long story.Bottom line we honestly still don't know what's wrong. He is still sick. He has days where he feels better then others. The fever and night sweats are gone but occasionally one strikes. They thought he had mono and another virus but now they aren't sure. In the very beginning they thought it could be lymphoma or luekemia. I am grateful that they have ruled that out. During this time he was going through his last few months of school. He GRADUATED June 5th! That has felt amazing. I can't quite put into words everything that the last five years has done to each of us. I just mean what we have learned, how we have grown. Going through school with Don while he got a double masters has been challenging but I am amazed at how God has worked, what we have learned and I would walk through it again. I am so proud of my husband for how hard he has worked and how he had every challenged that he was faced, including getting sick at the very end of his journey. Before his schooling even ended we already started the next challenge that we were going to face. My prayer is that God will bring answers quickly and that Don's body will be healthy and strong soon. I have so much more that I could write about as far as what we have been up to but this is pretty long. So for now I will leave you with a couple of more pictures. Thanks for being patient with my lack of writing. I will try to do better.

My no longer 6 month old!

UMMMMM.. HELLOOOO??? ISN'T HE STINKIN' CUTE?? :) I am definately past the first child. Poor Weston didn't get birth announcements. My thought was I would take his 6 month pictures and send out those pictures. Well he is already over 7 months. Do I send out pictures anyway? I will probably send out pictures when he is a year. So is that too much 6 months and then again at a year? Hmmm... Anyway, I can't BELIEVE 7 months has gone by. He loves to coo, gurgle and giggle at us. He adores me!! Which I love but he also adores his big brother. Which I will post some pictures of. :)
He loves his feet. I love it.



He rolls constantly. That is how he gets everywhere. He kind of amazes me. He loves to eat. He actually started baby food at a little over 4 months and is already eating some table food. He would prefer to have whatever is in my hand and will try to take it from me. :) It's kind of funny because he is pretty determined. He is a wonderful happy baby. He brings us so much joy and I thank God for my darling boys. Love you little cheeks.

what have I been doing??

ECFE (Early Childhood Family Education)

Playing

picking up toys

washing dishes

making breakfast

working out

folding clothes

running to the laundromat

playing outside

visitng friends

nursing

washing more dishes

picking up more toys

disciplining

loving

praying

learning

growing

swim lessons

vacuuming

washing

taking care of sick babies

taking care of sick hubbies

getting taking care of while I was sick

getting better

more exercising

watching ellen

dancing

singing

running

dating

laughing

celebrating pregnancies (not mine)

playing with friends

more praying

more cleaning

more playing

more disciplining

more washing, folding, vacuuming, picking up

watching babies

listening to toddlers

working

taking pictures

savoring

cocoing

tickeling

loving

forgiving

being forgiven

cooking supper

building forts

playing trains

telling stories

kissing boys

more praying

more learning

more growing

more loving!

I know I haven't been blogging much so I thought I would catch you up quickly. I need to post some pictures of Weston at 6 months. Also have a lot of pictures of visits with friends. Life has just been busy as you all know. Time gets away from us so quickly. We are approaching May and have a lot to look forward to. First of all Don and I in a few short days will have been married 8 years!! Wahoo... time flies. Brody turns 3 in May, My husband's birthday is in May, his Mother's birthday, then we have graduation!!!!! So excited for graduation. Many changes to come in our lives. We will see what happens and I will do my best to keep you posted.

Piranhas talk about Jesus?

Brody has an animal atlas book that we spend A LOT of time with him asking "Whad dis?" (Whats this?)

and us reading the descriptions of every animal on all 7 continents.

Tonight he saw a piranha and he asked his question. Whad dis? Which I replied it's a piranha. Then the conversation continued like this...

Brody: da shish is talding (the fish is talking)

ME: the fish is talking?

Brody: ah ha yess.

Me: What is the fish talking about.

Brody: da shish is talding about Jesus.

Apparently I am not man enough

Don and I read to Brody every night. However often Don lays on the floor in Brody's room until he falls asleep. This is the only way that we have been able to handle the whole getting out of bed ordeal. Anyway, Don has started to make stories up and tell Brody one more story in the dark once he is in bed. The other day at nap time Brody asked for a story. So I told a story about Brody and Weston in a speed boat race. Obviously with a little more detail and excitement then that but apparently not enough because the response I got well it wasn't good.

Brody: " I want a MAN story."

hmmmm... I guess I got to work on my story telling.

5 months

They Just Keep Coming...

Brody walks up to me today with a puzzle peice in his hand. It was a sheep. I asked Brody

what do sheep say...

Brody: Please

The other night Brody was having WHINE with dinner. Apparently Don was getting a little tired of it..

Don: Brody, Man Up!

Me: You know He IS ONLY 2

To which I was informed with much attitude

Brody: I NOT 2, I seun (seven) Weston seun

Daddy 2, Mommy 2 (insert very sassy attitude. )

Well alright then I guess I have a seun yr old. OH sad.

The things he is doing

At 4 months he rolls both ways.

He rolls to his side to grab a toy and play with it.

He smiles, giggles, and coos.

At his well visit he was 27 inches long and 15 lbs.

He loves to watch his big brother.

Weston is quickly approaching 5 months. Before I know it we will be taking 6 month pictures. So big, so fast. ;)

The Things He Says....

I NEED shish trackers (Fish crackers, note the word NEED.. hahaha..)

I need to carry you... (meaning I need you to carry me)

I need to sit in my lap... (he wants to sit in your lap)

The other day I was singing "He's got the whole world in his hands, He's got mommy and brody in his hands." Brody chimed in singing "and Weston too."

Brody singing while playing in the tupperware cupboard. " sing sing sing, shout shout shout praize da WARD."

Brody is now 33 months old. Before I know it we will be celebrating his 3rd birthday. He loves to swim, play outside in the snow, color, sing, dance, play with trains, look at trains on the computer, play with his pie pod (which is not his but he does have a game on there..)

Wisconsin Dells

I'm still here. In case anyone was wondering. Brody no longer takes a nap during the day... well... at least most days. So now you understand. :)

I have a lot of catching up to do. :) I wanted to post some pictures of our trip to the Wisconsin Dells. Mid January we got a great deal at a resort at the Dells and we went with another family that we are friends with. BRODY LOVES THEIR KIDS!! It's really fun.

We stayed in a two bedroom condo. It was a little crazy because each family had a bedroom but it was for two days. It was fun. This was the main living area.
Sara and Aaron had fun playing on the cart that wheeled in our luggage. :)
LOOK TOES!! Weston found his toes about a week before our trip and I finally got pictures of it. :)


That's my friend Anne and her daughter Sara.


I LOVE HIM!!!
ohhh... boy!! These two are always hugging, holding hands, and their has been some kissing.




Aaron and his snugli
awww...
I think we like each other!


Brody always sneaking food. :)
hanging out.

snow day

Peas in a pod!

Oh baby! I got to go spend some time with my friend Melissa last week. I got some fun pictures of our boys, born 5 weeks apart. Weston is on the left and Tad (Melissa's son) is on the right. Aren't they soooo cute.