Living Life

For months I feel as though all I have talked about is Brody, pregnancy, and Weston. That is a huge focus of my life right now. :) So I hope you haven't gotten too bored with me. The last 6 weeks has been a blur. A lot of it due to the fact that I have been half of sleep.. hahaha.. However we are doing really good. Not necessarily getting anymore sleep, I think we are adjusting to life with little sleep. Don is back in school and I think he is doing pretty well but does have a hard time finding time to do homework. I started back to photography when Weston was about 3 weeks. It feels good. I have done two family portrait sessions and have two more this month. I have to figure out how and when to get my editing done. :) It's interesting to figure out how to manage my time now. That has certainly changed. In the last 3-4 weeks a friend of mine lost her mother, I lost my grandmother, a classmate from my High School passed away. All of that was pretty intense. Loosing my grandma felt odd. I hadn't seen her in a few years. She had dementia and the last time I remembered her even knowing me was about 5-6 years ago. I felt like I lost her a long time ago. There was a part of me that was happy for her. I don't want that to sound morbid but she literally lost her mind. I would imagine that dementia is a very scary disease for the person who has it and very lonely. I imagine her now with Jesus, a whole and peaceful mind, and with her husband.

My girlfriend who lost her mother has been married for about 5 years now. They don't have kids, and have yet to buy a house. I am sharing this information with you just to paint a picture. She is in her late twenties. She came to visit me a few weeks ago. It was heartbreaking as I listened to her pour her heart out and share the extent of her pain. It wasn't until the last couple of months before her mom passed that she felt as though she was starting to get to know her mother. She grieves over everything that she is going to experience that her mom will never get to be apart of. My heart breaks for her. It's made me think so much of my own family relationships. I have had a bittersweet relationship with my own mother. I think everyone has struggles in relationships. We can either choose to work through them, forgive and move on or hold onto or pain and loose out on time with them because we are angry. It's easier said then done. My mom and I when she was here talked a lot about how we can move away from holding onto our past and move forward. I prayed with her for the first time that I can remember. I hope that her and I can move towards reconciliation and start enjoying one another more.

I am really enjoying being a mom of two. My boys are darling. I am just trying to find balance in my day. Last week I struggled a lot with how to manage my day. By the end of the week I was feeling a bit more peaceful about it all. I spent a lot of time praying about it. It's amazing how quickly your day runs away with you. There are many things that are important to me that I want to accomplish in a day. So I started thinking about what my priorities were. I decided that the most important thing is spending time with God which I have started to do in the mornings while I am nursing. :) It works great for me right now. The next thing is making sure that I spend time playing with my boys. Focused time. :) Another important thing that I feel I need to do for myself is exercise and shower. I really want to do this everyday. I am not certain if this is to high of an expectation. I am not certain how to do this well with two kids. It looks a little crazy around here. Brody runs between my legs, or runs circles around me, when I am doing push ups he crawls under me, when I do sit ups he tries to sit on top of me and Weston well he almost always starts crying at some point during a 20 minute workout. It's amazing how hard it is to get in just 20 minutes. If anyone has any tips I would love to hear them. My other desires are to maintain my house. Which means pick up toys, keep the dishes washed, and even vacuum if I can. One of my other goals and desires is to have a peaceful home when Don gets home. This just means that more days then not we are a happy and content family when he walks in the door. :)

Hmmmm... so as of right now I don't know what else to share. That has been my life, and my heart for the last few weeks. I hope you all are doing well. I know I have been absent from blogs but hope to catch up soon. :)