Praising God...

Today has been a day where I have just been in awe of God, the way that he works and just the reminder that he is always with us. 

Some of you will know this story, parts of it and maybe even all of it but I am going to document it. For some reason I tend to be in awe of God when he answers our prayers, or follows through with his promises. WHY? Why do I stand in awe of him taking care of me when he promises to do so. I hope that I will look back at this part of my life whenever I happen to doubt again and recall God's faithfulness. 

Since as long as I have known Don I have known that he wanted to go to Seminary and get a Masters in Marriage & Family Therapy. I didn't think much of it. "That's great, so someday he wants to go back to school? No big deal? Right?" HAHAHA?? 

It's been about three years ago now. Don told me that God put the verse on his heart "sell everything you have and come follow me." I was excited. YES! Ok... let's do it. Don applied for the Marriage and Family Therapy program. We started the process of selling. This was spring of 2005. The letter from Bethel came and he wasn't accepted into the program. Don spoke with someone at Bethel Sem. who told him that he could go into the MATS (Master of Arts in Theological Studies.) program with an emphasis into Marriage and Family Therapy. He was told that it could be the "backdoor" into the MFT program. So we proceeded.. we sold our truck, our house, and a lot of other stuff.  

In the fall we moved onto campus. I don't remember exactly when but Don was informed that MATS wasn't the "backdoor" into the MFT program. However, we felt like we were at the Seminary for a reason. Don applied for the MFT program again spring of 2006, this time he was asked to come back  for the interview portion. We were very excited. Maybe this year he would get accepted. Unfortunately there were about 50 people at the interview and only half get accepted into the program. Don was not one of them. It felt so defeating. Why did God tell us to sell everything only for Don to go into a program that he didn't feel called to be in. We thought that by taking the leap of faith and trusting that Don would get in at some point. In the mean time Don started applying for other programs at other schools.  We didn't know or understand the path but we kept moving forward. The way that I have felt over the last few years is like I am in a black cave. I can't see where I am going but there is a tour guide and little by little he shines just enough light for us to see where we are going. The Lord has truly taught us to step out in faith regardless of whether the path is clear and to trust him to lead us. I pray that we will not loose that courage. Don decided to continue on the path that he started even though it didn't completely make sense to us. In the fall of 2006 we became pregnant! :) That was certainly a fun twist in the road. The spring was going to be interesting as we were expecting our baby but also Don decided it was going to be his last year applying for the MFT program and if he didn't make it, then we were going to pursue different avenues. We were not certain what would happen in the spring once the baby was born. Meaning whether or not I would go back to work or if Don would get a job full-time. There were a lot of unanswered questions and the only way to move forward was in faith trusting God and knowing that he knew the big picture. So Don applied for the MFT, he was invited to the interview and this year was accepted. :) We decided that I would work after the baby was born and Don would continue with school full-time. I was so torn with this. However, I needed to trust God. I knew that God called us to Seminary. I knew that God had given Don the desire to get his Masters in Marriage and Family. I had to trust that he would provide me with my dream someday as well. That is to be home with my baby. However, first I needed to support my husband. My job up to the point that I got pregnant was tolerable, not great but tolerable. However, I worked for someone who didn't like the fact that I was pregnant, married or had a life outside of work. He also didn't want to respect it. While I was pregnant work became very stressful. I cried a lot, I had a lot of anxiety. It wasn't a healthy environment and yet I didn't see myself being able to leave there until Don was done with school. At times the thought of working there for a couple of more years took my breath away. I would get chest pains, stomach aches, head aches. It wasn't good. Regardless I returned to work after our precious Broderic Scott was born. I know that the only way I made it to work everyday is because God gave me the perseverence to keep going. Don started back to school in the fall of 2007. At the end of this school year he will graduate with his MATS degree and will also be starting the MFT program. Going back to work wasn't easy. I missed Brody so much during the day. However, there were some perks. I did have some flexibility in my schedule, I got to go home for lunch and see Brody. It was amazing how just going home for lunch made the day a bit easier. I often would tell myself "for such a time as this." I knew I wouldn't have to be at this job forever. I knew in my head that if I considered the big picture it was such an insignificant amount of time that I would be working. Soon I would be home with my son. I didn't realize how soon. So here it comes, the part where God shed some light on the big picture. I finally was at the end of my rope. I struggled with a little depression and anxiety. I told Don one night that I wanted to put in my notice at my job. I didn't expect him to let me do it, however, he told him to write my letter of resignation and that together we would pray about it. I went to work the next day with the letter in hand. During this time of anxiety and depression I let my relationship with God dwindle. The next day I did a devotion and it was about the prodigal son. I knew that God was telling me that it was time for me to return to him, to run completely to him with open arms. I had a feeling that I needed to read another devotion that day. The second one is when I knew what I needed to do. This devotion was called "A dead heart." The basis is that there are people walking around in the world who are dead and they don't even know it. I knew that I was some what dead. Maybe not all the way dead but on my way. I was crabby, easily irritated and i felt angry. When I read this I started to weep. I felt like I wasn't sure how I had gotten this way, but I knew what God was saying to me about my job. In that instant it didn't matter If I gave my resignation or if I stayed, the Lord would take care of us as long as I gave him control. He asked me to return to Him and promised to take care of my family. That day I resigned from a full-time job that supported our family, put my husband through school and provided health benefits for me and Brody. However, God told me to trust him, give him control and He would provide. My last day of work was Jan. 18th. I left work that day not certain of how God would take care of us but certain that he would. After I put in my resignation Don applied for a couple of jobs and was called for interviews.  Don had an interview Monday Jan. 21st. This interview was with Nystrom & Associates. He was interviewing for a full-time Social Work position. Nystrom & Associates is a counseling center. The interview went well on Monday and they set up a second interview for Friday Jan. 23rd. All week I was excited and nervous. Friday came and Don went to the interview. I had been praying off and on up to the interview. I prayed throughout the time that he was gone. His interview was around 12 noon and it was almost 2pm... I had no idea where he was but how could he not get the job? Then at 2pm he walked through the door. 

The thing you need to know about Don is that his smile gives him away. He isn't a good liar. :) He can't keep secrets because he starts smiling. I almost always figure out any kind of presents because if I guess and it's right, well, his smile gives it away. Honestly it's one of the things that I love about him, it's very boyish. :) Anyway, you guessed it, he walked through the door with the biggest smile on his face! Outside of his son being born I hadn't seen him smile like that in a long time. 

Today is Sunday Jan. 27th. It probably sounds silly but the reality of how God has provided for us through this job has sunk in today. Don's schedule is a flex schedule, Monday - Friday. He sets his schedule and has weekends off. The flexibility will allow him to work with his school schedule. What they are paying him will cover what I was making. He will recieve medical benefits after thirty days. So that's cool right but that's not all. He will receive supervision from this company for his MFT that is free. Typically you have to pay for supervision and he has to have it to get his degree, ALSO he can do his internship with them and it will be paid!! WOW!!! It's very possible that this could lead to a full-time counseling position for Don once he graduates. Seriously, how cool is God. Don is in a great place that is going to help him to continue on the path to finish his degree and allow me to stay at home with Brody. Another cool part about all of this is that I will be doing Photography from home. His flex schedule works great for me to do my photography also. Down to the last detail God provided for us. Since we left Isanti all he has done is blessed our path. 

Recently I told Don a few things I saw Brody do and I would get so excited because I thought it was the first time that it had happened... I had never heard that it happened so I assumed it was the first time. However, the response to me was "He has been doing that for a long time." I was crushed. So apparently my son had been crawling and I didn't even know it. :( So tonight Brody and I were playing in his bedroom. He is very ticklish. :) He giggles like crazy when I run my fingers over his belly. Then I was kissing him every where and he was just giggling and I thought to myself, I can kiss my baby now when ever I want... I can tickle him when ever I want because I get to be with him everyday. I am not going to miss so much, but I will get to see him crawl, grow and learn. Praise God, but he has provided for Don his dream and mine. Not all the pieces to the puzzle are there yet, but I have more faith now then ever that God will work out the details and will provide. So this is my huge, long, drawn out story of why I  was praising God today but I couldn't just write that Don got a job. This story started when we left Isanti. I don't know that there has been an experience in my life that has taught me more about trusting God. I hope that this story encourages you, inspires you, and gives you courage to keep moving forward if you are in a dark cave. So I hope it is clear that I completely give God the glory for the way that he has taken care of us over the past few years but I also need to say that I am so proud of my husband. He has worked so hard and by the time it's all said and done he will have completed two master programs. He has shown tremendous faith and has been an amazing family leader. I praise God for my husband, there couldn't have been a more perfect man to support me through my pregnancy, labor, adjustment period to being a mom, through my job experience, and gave me the support to leave my job. Thanks babe! love you.